How to tell your spouse that you want a divorce

If your marriage has been on the rocks for a while, then you probably know that divorce is in your best interest. While that’s an important first step in securing a future that you want, that recognition doesn’t make the process easier.

While we spend a lot of time on the blog discussing the legal implications of divorce, this week we wanted to look at something different: breaking the news of divorce to your spouse.

The difficulties of telling your spouse that you want a divorce

A lot of people hold off divorce for far too long simply because they dread telling their spouse that they want their marriage to end.

This is understandable to a certain extent. After all, you might be unsure about how your spouse will react.

They might exhibit deep emotional pain that’s heartbreaking, or they might respond with explosive anger that could potentially put you in harm’s way. Then, once the news is broken, you might be bombarded with questions that you don’t know how to answer. Although this can be stressful to think about, you shouldn’t let it delay your ability to secure the future that you deserve.

That’s why you need to carefully think through how you’re going to break the news to your spouse. With a solid approach in place, you might be able to reduce the tension and stress that otherwise might be present in the process, thereby setting the stage for a successful marriage dissolution.

Tips for breaking the news of divorce to your spouse

Although you might feel lost when it comes to figuring out how to break the news of divorce to your spouse, there are actually a lot of strategies that you can implement to help yourself out. Here are some of them:

• Don’t take your spouse off guard: Surprising your spouse with news of the divorce out of the blue can leave them in shock, which might disrupt any trust that they still have in you. This can be determinantal to the divorce negotiation process. Your spouse might also have negative animosity towards you the way you handled breaking the news.
• Be prepared: Although there are any number of emotions that your spouse might feel at the time of being told that it’s time for divorce, you should expect your spouse to be angry, sad, and in denial. Also be expected to be blamed for the divorce, even if it’s not your fault. By readying yourself for this outburst of emotions, you might be better able to fend off attacks and focus on the process ahead.
• Have a plan: This is an important discussion to have. You don’t want to wing it. If you go into the discussion without a plan, then you could end up saying something that you didn’t intend. This can come back to haunt you as you try to amicably resolve the pending legal issues before you.
• Don’t lay blame: It can be easy for this discussion to quickly devolve into a fight that’s highly contentious. If you want to avoid that, then you should avoid laying blame at your spouse’s feet. Try focusing on how you feel and why you think divorce is appropriate.

Find a way to confidently navigate your divorce

There are other steps that you can take to make the divorce process easier. That’s why it’s important that you learn as much as you can about the process and effective strategies for navigating it.